Blog

GBU #1

May 31, 2006 • Karen

The Good:

Webcomics are awesome.

The Bad:

The Left Behind franchise now has a video game, "Left Behind: Eternal Forces." Description:

[Y]ou are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians.

Uh, eek! Read the whole article... I can't express how WRONG this game is. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Someone tell me this is a parody? Please?

There's also an option to play as the anti-Christ, and unleash howling goat-footed demons on tasty Bible-beaters. Mmm. Unfortunately, though, there's no option to play as, say, a freethinking Christian-type who just wants to leave well alone instead of shoving self-righteous hatred down others' throats with the barrel of a shotgun. What?

Perhaps more disturbingly, the company producing the game is tied to Rick Warren--y'know, that megachurch magnate who wrote The Purpose-Driven Life. If anybody knows how to make a best-seller, it's him--and Left Behind's planning to use similar marketing tactics by distributing copies of the game through Warren's megachurch network.

Next I'll be hearing kids at Normandale whining, "Mommm! Why can't OUR church have a video game??" And then in a few months the ELCA'll start marketing "Luther The Burninator" or some other monstrosity. And then I'll decide: disavowal of organized religion or self-inflicted lobotomy?

Actually, that'd be kinda hilarious... "I will nail these 95 theses... THROUGH YOUR HEART! RAAAUGGHHHH!"

Anyway.

The Ugly:

Jenny, don't watch this. Or may do watch this and be warned, for this commercial's targeted at boys your age and younger:

OOZINATOR!

If you don't understand why this is horribly, horribly wrong... good.