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I love the smell of pirated DVDs in the morning...

May 11, 2006 • Karen

RIAA trains police dogs to sniff out DVDs

Because, y'know, pirated DVDs smell completely different than DVDs legitimately bought. Or home movies burned on DVD. Or backup copies of DVDs you own. Um.

I like how they're calling it a "success" even though they didn't find shit. From the press release:

This is the first time dogs have been used anywhere in the world to search for counterfeit DVDs and the results were amazing... They were amazingly successful at identifying packages containing DVDs, which were opened and checked by HM Customs’ representatives. While all were legitimate shipments on the day, our message to anyone thinking about shipping counterfeit DVDs through the FedEx network is simple: you’re going to get caught.

Oh good. Now if I ever happen to "pirate" copies of The Orange and send them to somebody by Fedex through Stansted Airport in the UK, I know that my package may or not be opened and poked through by MPAA thugs (depending on if either of the two dogs are on duty or not) until they realize, "It's not one of our movies." I'm quakin' in my boots, guys.

So...how much money did the MPAA spend to train these dogs? How much time are they wasting given that the *vast* majority of suspect packages are false alarms? Are anti-drug agencies taking notes on the MPAA's strategy, trying to figure out how to train drug dogs to sniff out plastic bags? And how can Fedex not think that it will keep its customers happen with third parties pawing through their stuff?

This wins my award for Stupidest Security Trade-off Ever.